Standing In The Dark
by SabreDae
Summary: His heart pounded with nerves as he stepped out of the car and looked up and down the street, checking he had the right street. Before he knocked, Neal peered into the window. He didn't want to bother if she wasn't there, but he couldn't help freezing at the picture he was seeing. ONESHOT from Neal's POV, featuring Emma and Graham, Henry, Snow and Charming. R&R!


**A/N: Hey everyone. I've had this oneshot in my head for so long, I just had to write it. It has been inspired by Lawson's song of the same name, and every time I listen to it, I can't help but think of Emma, Graham and Neal. If you have read my other current Once story, Effects of Magic, I promise I'll be updating soon! I'm halfway through the next chapter! I never meant to have such a massive gap between my updates, but it's a long story for another time (as I don't want to bore people who haven't read the story). Anyways, I hope you enjoy this story. Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: In no way do I own Once Upon a Time or its characters. **

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**Standing in the Dark**

His heart pounded with nerves as he stepped out of the car and looked up and down the street, checking he had the right one. It had been years since he'd seen her, he could only imagine what she looked like now. Light streamed from one of the windows of what was supposed to be the apartment she was staying in. His breath came in haggard gasps as he took the first few steps up the garden path, the uneven quality all the more noticeable in the cold air that caused his exhales to turn to steam.

Before he knocked, Neal peered into the window. He didn't want to bother if she wasn't there, but he couldn't help freezing at the picture he was seeing.

Emma was more beautiful than he remembered, especially when she laughed, tipping her head back with mirth. She'd aged, that he could see, but he didn't find himself noticing particularly. Just looking at her was enough to fill his mind with memories of her ten years previously. If he closed his eyes, he knew he would see her lying next to him on the motel bed.

His lips tingled, remembering her touch.

But looking through the window, though she was clearly happy, he knew something was off.

There she was with her family. That much was obvious from the way the other two people in the room looked at her with loving, proud eyes. As he watched, her father crossed from where he had been standing in the kitchen and kissed the top of her head as he passed the sofa, heading to the only armchair in the room.

He couldn't help smiling at the scene. It was everything Emma had ever wanted but had learned to stop wishing for.

As her mother too moved into the sitting room, he pulled away from the window slightly, not wanting to be seen. With the three of them together, it was easy to see where Emma got her looks. She was the perfect mix of her parents, inheriting her chin, smile and curls from her mother, Snow White; but her blue eyes and blonde hair from her father, Prince Charming. He'd always thought Emma looked like princess, now he knew why. The three of them together looked so natural, the way Emma and her mother leaned into each other as they sat side by side on the sofa, smirking the exact same way at something her father said.

The three of them looked up instantaneously as a young boy came barrelling down the stairs and launched himself over the back of the sofa, grinning as the two women he had almost kicked in the head complained and scolded him. Seeing his face, Neal found his breath suddenly caught in his throat.

There was no mistaking it. Looking at the boy was like looking at a picture of his eleven year old self. The way his hair fell, the upturn of his brow, even the shape of his face was an exact replica of his own youthful appearance.

He longed to knock on the door now, to find out for certain if he was looking at his son, but he found himself paralysed as someone else entered the room, saying something Neal couldn't hear through the thick window. With a laugh and wide grin, he bumped hands with the kid and pulled from his pocket a red, Santa hat, slinging it onto the boy's head. The two of them fell into a hug of sorts, the man holding the boy from behind and the boy laughing as he wrestled to get free.

Finally, the man relinquished his hold and the boy fell onto Emma's lap, where she promptly scooped him into her arms and kissed the top of his head. Any doubts Neal had had were erased. He was Emma's son.

After watching them for ten minutes, Neal found himself beginning to feel uncomfortable. Turning up unexpectedly on Christmas Eve hadn't been a good idea. He knew that now. As the boy he suspected was his son dashed to the Christmas tree in the corner and pulled a great, big present out from underneath it, he finally turned his back on the happy family and headed back to his car. His hands were rigid gripping the steering wheel as he sat a few moments and tried to force himself to forget what he had seen and turn the ignition. Eventually he managed it, and flipped the radio on, unable to bear the silence as he drove away.

Just three hours later he was surprised to realise he was sat outside Emma's apartment again after driving aimlessly around Storybrooke, unable to leave. What had compelled him to return, he didn't know, however.

With trepidation, he got out of the car once more, unable to avoid the sense of déjà vu surrounding him. His footsteps on the garden path echoed this time in the silent night, but if anybody in the apartment was awake, no-one came to the door. He soon found out why.

Only Emma and the man from earlier were in the living room with the lights dimmed down low, the two of them curled up on the sofa, oblivious to everything but each other. Looking through the glass, Neal saw him lean forwards, never stopping staring into her eyes as he pressed his lips to hers. It was a tender kiss, but it soon turned hungry. Just watching them, Neal could see they were in love.

In that moment, Neal knew he would always be standing in the dark, watching from the outside. Emma would never again be his.

Leaving Emma, he'd ruined his one chance. He'd known that really. It was hard enough for her to let someone past her walls once; she wouldn't do it twice and especially not when someone had hurt her like he had. It hadn't been intentional and it had been for her own good, but that wouldn't make the hurt any less.

Watching her through the window, Neal knew she was someone else's angel now.

With no backward glance, he turned on his heel and returned to his car. He would miss getting the chance to know his son, but he seemed better off without him. After all, he would have two parents who loved him and his grandparents too. All of them could do without him in their lives. He would always be that thief deep down, but it was easy to see that Emma was no longer that person. She was a mother, a girlfriend, a daughter, a _saviour _if what August had told him was right.

He had no trouble starting the ignition this time and driving away, putting Emma and town behind him.

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**A/N: So I hope you liked this. I would really love to know what you thought so review. (And I really do promise that there will be a chapter of Effects of Magic soon!) And apologies for all the typos that were in this before I edited it!  
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**Thanks for reading! Much love, SabreDae**

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